Nailing it on Evolution's head

I read somewhere that the reason for the dense growth of Hair (on the head) and the nails (in the hands and toes) was because nerve concentration was highest in these areas. Now this made, the great philosopher of modern times (yea… that’s Me!) wonder.

During the evolution of man, I think a serious mistake was made by Nature. I am not accusing her of giving us nails and hair, but I think she mixed up the placement of these two. How, you may ask. Well, according to Darwin, man evolved from Monkeys, more specifically, from Gorillas. Now Gorillas are pretty docile creatures, as they seldom hunt. They are vegetarians and the only reason they used their nails was to pluck out fleas from their friends.

Now, Gorillas also climb trees and fight with each other. While climbing, (since nothing in the world is 100% ideal) they tend to slip and fall down, which causes injuries. The most serious being head injuries. The same thing happens when Gorillas fight each other. They get injured in the head. Now, if the nail had grown on the head, instead of the fingers, it would have been an amazing shield. It would have acted like a natural helmet against such accidents.

Most interestingly, nail is nothing but modified hair (with a tough protein called Keratin). Why didn’t the hair on the head get condensed to form the natural helmet? Answer: The blunder of Nature.

This would have solved several social crises we have in the society now, which is caused by head hair (which from now on shall be called Mother nature’s Atrocious ERRor or “MaERR” for short). For a start, all the Homo sapiens, especially, Male Homo sapiens who suffer from baldness would not be ridiculed if we had evolved into creatures having nail on our head. Thus incredible amount of money on cosmetics could be saved, which is now spent on trying to re-grow hair, curling hair, straightening hair and cutting hair. Even husbands of rather finicky women, would have saved several billions which could have been used for a rather good cause.

The rule makers of wrestling matches wouldn’t have had to painstakingly make a rule (which in turn makes them lose hair) to not clutch or pull a rival’s hair when a match is going on.

Military generals and leaders wouldn’t have had to punish or demote their sub-ordinates for having long hair. In fact the military would have even saved several millions by not making helmets for their soldiers. After all they would have an amazing nature made head protection.

School children, especially in strict schools, would have spent less painful hours with their teachers, when they let their hair grow. Some teachers even tend to pull the student by their hair to inflict punishment.

And I could go on giving numerous reasons and explanations for having a nail on the head. But these are all needless reflections. But it is not too late. Evolution might take several millenniums, but we have to help out future generations. So, from now on when you get into a fight, try attacking your opponent headlong, so that after some million years, (when this practice is followed continually) we might end up with a nail on the head. Also, try to condense ur hair into a thick pack (with gel, cement, Plaster of Paris or super glue) continuously and pass on this practice to the future generations (as a family tradition), for my hope is that in the future, we might start producing Keratin, thus forming a nail in the place of MaERR.

If you don’t follow these methods, then MaERR-a pochu!