Bond. Paati's Bond

It all started off with an innocuous question. But I was too naive to understand the DOuble entendres. The rest of the questions were cleverly coated with extreme sweetness and innocence that I had no idea that I had inadvertently started an endless domino. It was only when the very last block landed, did I realize its dire consequences.
Well, you must be in the same position as I was right now. What am I talking about? Travel back a few hours behind with me.
It was a beautiful and lazy morning. I was enjoying my winter holidays at my Mami’s house. Not surprisingly, owing to the holiday season, there were loads of people in the house. Among them was a Paati. She was one of those typical grandmothers. Wife of a retired government official, had seen the ups and downs of life, seen her sons and daughters well settled and now gleaming at the American accent of her grandchildren, with absolutely no idea what they were telling her.



While I was enjoying my breakfast, the paati struck a conversation with me. Since I was pretty new to the family (for my mami is not a direct Mami. If there was a 5th mami (like 5th cousin), then she would fit in there) I was drilled with loads of questions about my family. I didn’t suspect a thing when I was asked these questions.
After she had a thorough control over my family details, she went on to ask about my academic qualifications. She had a very smug look when I said I was doing my masters. I sensed a feeling of approval from her. She spaced out for a while, but I felt that it was too quick to think about anything. But, little did I know that the minds of Paatis were wired in a brilliant fashion that they had the uncanny ability to think at super fast speeds. Next came the question about my culinary skills and I received a positive nod when I told her about my excellent cooking skills. The rest of the questions were asked with undecipherable enthusiasm that I began to suspect something, but couldn’t exactly see where the conversation was leading to. My hold on Vedas were questioned, my future plans (both near and far) were discussed ( I was also given lots of suggestions about it!), my gothram, my star of birth were queried Thus started the supreme domino effect.
Now, if you are wondering why I was being asked all these things, then you too fall under the ‘too innocent’ category. But if you have figured out the reason, then I bet you too have also experienced this grueling experience.
As I was finishing off my breakfast, the big fat evil mother of all questions was aimed at me with ultimate accuracy. “There is a girl in my family. She has completed her engineering in Madras. We are looking to marry her off….”. I coughed out my entire breakfast and almost choked. It was then that I realized the hidden meaning behind the whole conversation.
Lighting flashed, earth rumbled, trees caught fire. Horses neighed; fish circled in water and all those things.
But before the deadly weapon could destroy me, my ever helpful mami came to the rescue and shunned the paati from even thinking about it, for I was too young for that.
Next time a Paati asks you innocent looking questions, remember, everything in the world has a purpose.