Phone is dead....

After an indept analysis and research I have come to a conclusion that you should never name yourself or your child or for that matter anyone as Phone or Telephone when you have an authority to name. The reason was deduced after several strange instances that were tested by the great philosophical thinker of modern era - Me.
When a person whose name is Phone is being called, the person is confronted with an immense doubt of whether he should first ring and then answer or just answer back. The person will then face extreme mental trauma , as he will get confused. Moreover when Phone wants to make a call, he has to first verify if it is technically possible for Phone to use a phone to call another phone. Because of this technical confrontation , in most cases, the person called Phone will not use the phone or any other newer communication method, which is based on the basic concept of phone (such as Cell phone etc..) as it involves too much thinking. Because of this Phone may cease to utilize modern technologies and become redundant in the ever evolving human society.
During his younger years, when elders want to call him by his pet name they tend to call him Phoney (Just like John is called Johney and Tom is called Tommy). This might and in most cases WILL cause psychological imprintation of the name and thus Phone in his later years may really turn out to be a phoney person and may cause threat to the society.
While delving into the subject of society, I wish to make this observation also made public. People will not grasp the importance of the social events that take place in Phone's life. For example his engagement will be considered trivial, as a phone tends to be engaged most of the time. Although his marriage will be considered a very rare occasion as phones can only be engaged and not married.
The birth of Phone will be critizied by english experts , and will be corrected as 'Phone is installed' , although 'Phone is Born' is grammatically precise, as Phone is a person and not a phone. The death of Phone will not be attended by many. This is because a phone tends to die often and the usage of the phrase 'Phone is dead' has become very common these days. But there might be another extreme to this case. If the person Phone is a very friendly fellow, his friends and relative may end up in his house for mourning more often than going to the bathroom as there will be constant news that the Phone is dead. Although the person Phone in reality will be alive.
After making all these observations and thinking, I strongly advice people not to name themselves or others as Phone, as it may lead to dire consequences.