Cellular love

While everyone on earth waits with an abated breath for his/hers first kiss, I got mine when I least expected it. It was a cold January morning and as I inhaled the fresh air circulated by the air conditioner in my room, I realized that someone had grazed my lips. This very thought jerked me awake and I rushed to the nearest mirror to see the remnants of the tryst. And there it was, on my lips, pink and supple as I stared at it for a long time unable to believe it.

It is of a general opinion that the first kiss is never forgotten. In my case I am in the danger of not forgetting it even in my next life, primarily because of the ‘thing’ that kissed me. It is a self reproductive being which springs to life when it finds a good host. My girl friend was a Virus. She (if I may refer to it that way) had sneaked into my mouth and placed the kiss in the middle of the night. This ‘kiss’ resulted in a big swollen bulge on my lip complete with a searing pain on my lip (not in my heart). So, I was back in front of the mirror examining this bulge, prodding and feeling it as if it were a sleeping monster.

When someone showers you with unconditional love you usually don’t have the heart to throw them out of your life. So, I waited patiently and passed on telepathic messages for her to leave. Fidelity was something that my girl friend was born with and she refused to leave or even show signs of leaving. After several open and obvious attempts at throwing her out of my lips, she finally got the hint and her reaction wasn’t good.

It started of with some crying (while the tears slowly turned into blood) and all of a sudden there was a change in mood. She swelled up and breathed fire. Her flames of fury spread all over my body and the ‘kiss’ became larger and more pink! It resulted with me having a fever and she wreaking havoc on my lips! It was at this point I realized that I needed a counselor, who could convince her to go away in peace. After a phone call to the counselor and a box of ice (creams?), her flames of hatred reduced a bit.

At the appointed hour, I, along with my fuming girl friend, was sitting in front of the counselor. The counselor looked closely at my girlfriend, while my girl friend stared back at her. This exchange of looks gave me jitters.

I felt weird at some random female staring and observing my lips (while there I was trying to gauge her reaction). After a long and silent minute, the counselor engaged her precious vocal chords and stated the following words – “Nothing to worry about”. It was my turn to stare at her. She refused to meet my eyes and wrote some medications on a small piece of paper. Since my technique wasn’t working, I engaged my vocal chords (while my girl friend, residing on my lips, was desperately trying to stop me) and asked her if I was to live with her through out my life or will she be leaving soon. The doctor remained silent and after some serious writing on her pad, she professionally traced her finger over the perforation and handed over a slip. She opened her precious mouth once again and said something inconceivable. Later I understood that she was talking in the language of my girlfriend.

Like magic (after decoding and implementing the message she had written on the paper she had given me) the pain on my lips reduced greatly, although the bulge remained intact. After a few reluctant days and some awkwardness on my part, my ex-girl friend left for good (which is not entirely true, but that is a different story!).

For all those ‘single’ fellows out there… look out for ‘single’ fellows like you as your ‘special’ friend, but lookout for those microscopic or ‘single-celled’ fellows.